但愿人长久，千里共婵娟

在回英国的前夕，我的心情很沉重。

转眼间，两个月的时间就这样过去了。

在这两个月里所遇见的人，事，物， 都带给我无比的满足。

在英国压抑了一整年，如今回到斗湖，想要做的事情， 几乎都已经一一达成了。

今年回来，我感觉我的想法，生活的重心， 都有所调整。

家人一年比一年更重要了。

毕竟已经快22岁了， 不知道能够陪家人多久，

但是我们彼此都知道， 我们很关心彼此， 很注重彼此的想法，

真的很希望多孝顺父母， 多陪陪姐姐和妹妹。

但是亲情对我而言， 无论陪了多久，终究是不足够的， 人总是贪心的。

每一次的重逢都预言着再次的离别， 而离别总是忧伤的。

三年了， 三次的分开，我仍然还是不能够抵挡眼泪决堤。

在这夜深人静的晚上，

我努力地告诉自己，不要把离别看得太重。

不要一直挥舞着双手，想要努力握住些什么，

因为有些东西，它其实一直都在心里。

把手放开，把心情放轻松，

也许我能得到的， 会更多。。。

假如

我对自己的生命有很多假设性的问题，

假如我是一个很会唱歌的人，

假如我是一个很会运动的人，

假如我是一个不怕害羞的人，

假如我会说另外一个语言，

假如我不是华人，

假如我不是马来西亚人，

假如我，不是现在的我，

我会更快乐吗？

假如。。。。。。

有时候

有时候很想呐喊，

以为把心肺都喊出来了，

自己就会想通，

事情就会变得不一样。

有时候很想幻想，

想象我可以变得很渺小，

这样就不会有人在乎我做了些什么，

或没有做些什么。

My Infinite Whining Site

Yes, the only reason that I am here is because I wanna grumble and there's no other places better than my own blog to do this.

As Uk stidents should know, life has been tough, I mean literally, T O U G H.

It's bad enough to have exam, and it has to be THE exam, u know, the FINAL YEAR exam.

Ok, as if that is not the worst thing ever, I am down with flu,

and I overslept (well, not late to the exam that kinda oversleep but still that causes quite a chao to me, early in the morning, so yea... I overslept).

And then the exam was tough, not that I didnt expect tht coming, but still, it's something worth grumbing about.

Oh yea, n then I got a msg from Lihtyng that one of the gene that I am working on for my final year project is actually the same gene to the other one that I was doing

(for those of you who might wanna know more, I was working on eNOS, iNOS, HSP70 and HSP 72. It turns out that HSP72 belongs to a family of Heat Shock Protein. And guess what, the name of the protein family is HSP70. ) I mean what the heck, after all these time that I've spent on working on the project and doing all the background reading and I didn't even realized that??!! Screw it! or better still, screw ME!

Now I am dreading the moment when I have to meet John and I can already imagine his face: Jin, care to explain how this could happen? *stern but still with a fake smile* ><

Okay, enough with all the self-pitying and whining. I should better get back to revision. I've got Clinical Chem to worry about on Thurs. If only I've got better brain cells to accommodate all the infinite details that I have to memorize. Fingers crossed that God will show some mercy and let me write the 3 essays on Thurs like an author plz!

Till then, annyeong!

One Precious Night Off

Finally get one night off from all the hassles tassels trying to catch up with deadline and hectic lab work. Had a good sleep from around 5pm till 9pm. (I even skipped the lecture in fact ;)) It was more like a knock out instead, like I just passed out, literally, after getting just 5hrs of sleep everyday, Monday to Thurs.

This whole week seemed so slow yet so fast. Loads of things happened, shitty stuffs mostly. Got turned down by a few institutes for my PhD applications. Was kindda expecting that but still, can't help feeling disappointed. It made me starts to doubt myself if I'm really that 'not good' (hate to say that I'm bad, lol) that no one wants me for a PhD. *sobs* Am actually starting to doubt if PhD is the right cup of tea for me.

N then there was my introduction write-up for my final year report, which I was kindda lost in d middle of no where, n the comments I got for that were mostly bad as well, 'off-track', 'you need to stay focus on your project aim', bla bla bla. It's frustrating, considering all d work that I'd put in. Something that Jialih quoted from Mike (his supervisor) made me pondered a very true fact: 'Shit happens, it happens to everyone, but for some people, they just have more shits, n there's a reason behind.' That's very true yet the same time very depressing. Perhaps I wouldn't encounter all these setbacks if I'd have worked harder in the first place. After all, final year is no funny joke at all. Stress level is up, baby!

Anyway, the only think that sort of brightened up my day a bit would be my turtle neck jacket that I ordered from eBay. It arrived on Thursday all d way from Korea. Claps for that. Was relieved that the size fits well on me and the quality was as expected. Or else, this would turn into another crap on a pile of shit that is already stinky enough for the week.

Anyway, enough with all the whiny moaning. Gonna enjoy this precious one night off and am not gonna do anything except movies on bed. Used to do this all the time last year but only come to appreciate it when I only get to do this once in a very very very blue moon nowadays.

Am hoping to get a better next week. Fingers crossed that my project will go well and someone would take me for a PhD. SOMEONE PLEASEEEEE. *pity face*

Thought of the Day

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks..


Separately, Rudd angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote:
'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians. '

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!'

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'

'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.'


'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'

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P/S: Currently exhausted from all the hassles in life. But couldn't resist to post this email that I received. My stand is in between. Things do not have to be this ugly. We don't see problem like this in a daily basis because usually tolerance of two sides would solve the problem. In this case, one party pushed their luck too far that the government decided that they have enough with tolerating people with no gratitude.

Nonetheless, such is social issue that it is debatable. I don't know. To me, peace always comes first, but when defence is necessary, peace should be overridden.

如果我变成回忆

如果我变成回忆

退出了这场生命

留下你错愕哭泣

我冰冷身体

拥抱不了你

想到我让深爱的你

人海孤独旅行

我会恨自己

如此狠心

如果我变成回忆

终于没那么幸运

没机会白着头发

蹒跚牵着你

看晚霞落尽

-- Tank <如果我變成回憶>